anxiety, friendships, quitting sugar, social media, wellbeing

I’m not anti-social, how about you? ….

With a significant amount of jetlag and a huge dollop of sugar withdrawals after a rather indulgent trip back to the UK, where we spent time catching up with family and attending my daughter’s graduation ceremony … I have got to hold my hands up and concede that I’ve been rather anti-social of late, not like me I know, sorry!

Can you guess freaking why?

Well, there’s no denying it, jetlag is one serious head f@#k! and we all know the effects of sugar withdrawals, right?! .. if not, what planet have you been on? have you not been reading my blogs?! Ironically though, this time away has provided me with some clarity, not what you’d typically associate with a head f@#k hey!

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Whilst in the UK, strutting around like a proud peacock mum, as you do at your daughter’s graduation, my anti-socialness started. Obviously, this was in the virtual world of social media, cos trust me… there was no anti-social going down in the real world! … Yeah, I know that some of you can manage the “social’ in social media even when you’re away, by using scheduling apps or that thing called motivation… keeping your account on track, etc – especially if it’s a business one. But really, how much of it’s just FOMO? (fear of missing out) and don’t you owe yourself a break sometimes?! Anyway, each to their own… and with only having two weeks away, I decided to give social media the back seat in the rental car… Okay, being honest, I gagged it, bagged it and bundled it into the freaking boot!

And you know what… it was freaking awesome!

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fun, fun, fun! …

The clarity I found without having my eyes glued to a little screen as much, scrolling through various social media feeds to see how a post or image was doing, checking in and keeping up with my follower’s posts or responding to comments… my sleep improved, in quality not quantity, but more importantly… so did my self-esteem!

At this point, you might be asking “WTF… how did that happen?” … okay, you may not have sworn?! But, I can only think it was because it provided me with a break from comparisonitis… which, trust me, I think many of us would really benefit from letting go of that sh*t!  It felt great to have a break from questioning if my posts were interesting, funny or good enough, … not worrying about whether images I posted, bombed – after (more often than not) taking hours to produce! and trust me, there’s nothing worse than when you love your result but it appears no bugger else does?!… and as for all “those irritating people” that follow, unfollow, then follow you back again… nope, move along, I wasn’t having to play that freaking pied piper of Hamelin game, no siree!

Bloody Hell! … is it tough or what! heh? … and if I’m being honest, just a smidge nonsensical, don’t you think?!

It’s no wonder the ole self-esteem batteries started to restore!

However, on my return, jetlagged… I gingerly dipped my toe back into the water this week, nervously looking at my freaking numbers – which I hadn’t for some time – and in truth, I’ll hold my hands up and tell you the loss of followers upset me! Yeah call me “Mrs Sensitive” I dare you! But I warn you, Jetlag seems as bad if not worse than PMT!

Anyway, it was then that I looked in the mirror and asked myself “Just, what the F@#K am I doing?!” and I seriously considered simply deleting my account … extreme huh?! … but I bet you’ve all thought it at some point?! but despite my PMT / Jetlag, I kicked arse! my own! … by swiftly diving into my own a-game, with a focus on my relationship with Social Media and asked myself to consider one freaking big question …

“What is my why to all of this?”

Funny enough, the answer came down to two main reasons. First, friendship… finding a sense of belonging, to be part of a community of sorts… and second, it supports the creative spirit in me… with my photos, posts and comments… yes, I know! they’re mainly about food but then hell! don’t “friendship” and “food” go together like strawberries and cream!

I have realised though, that by ring fencing myself to such singular focussed communities where you seem to be expected to only “do food” or “do photography” where we try and keep everything to a certain genre, well, it’s just not me… WTF! I mean … who would really say something like “singular focussed communities” in real life … certainly not freaking me! … maybe that’s why I felt some relief by being away?! Remember my last blog? I can’t live in a box – Well, in case you missed it, I’ll say it again, “my names not Jack and I don’t like springs up my arse!” and that, I think, is why social media sometimes is a head f@#k.

This is, without any doubt, why I feel so freaking uneasy on Social Media!!

Uneasy in playing the game … posting daily, keeping to a genre, hashtag-ing this and that, following and unfollowing, etc. etc. Simply posting anything away! “That looks Delish!”, “WOW!” “OMG! yummo” blah, blah, blah … honestly … WHY?! Does this really sound like a valuable use of our time? Or is this that the Instagram hustle, the game that we take for granted, the one that’s universally played and accepted?! (just man up Sarah!?)

Having recently read “Chapter One” by D Flynn I think there’s good reason to question the “Social” in Social Media! I mean, if they can do social enterprising with a big “Thank You” then surely, we can bring a little more authenticity to Social Media… don’t you think???

I mean, seriously, can you imagine Social Media acted out in the “Real World”?  Imagine walking down the street saying “Hi” to everyone that catches your eye and then making a comment on/to them on how you think they’re looking or feeling based on that limited, brief observation… maybe not huh? After all, who wants to look a “weirdo”, get locked up for slander or verbal abuse or – at best – maybe get a punch on the nose?! Or am I just over thinking this?!

Anyway, thank f@#k Instagram introduced the liking heart of Twitter! less meaningless comments, hallelujah!

And whilst I’m at it, maybe we should all begin putting something meaningful, purposeful back into Social! And maybe figure out our own … “why?” Our friendships and connections, our creativity, our content … and then if you’re someone who wants to be a cosmopolitan chameleon, showing off all your many colours or maybe someone looking to market the new business you’re building… freaking go for it, in a more meaningful way, ultimately knowing your why?!

From here on, know that if I “like” your image… I genuinely freaking like it, why because I’ve given you something precious I’ve given you my time and if you see me posting any “Looks Delish!” or “OMG! yummo!” comments, I expect you all to haul me up on that sh*t!

So, despite the shock of putting my toe back into the cold, cold waters of Social Media, I hope you can see at least, that my self-esteem train is back on track – after figuring out what my why is … and I now know what my Social Media a-game is – to be authentic, meaningful and if I don’t fit in a certain box… I’ll be making my freaking own!

After somewhat of a rant, for which I’m #sorrynotsorry, (I did do that on purpose, old hashtag habits die hard …) I just want to say that I do “get” that Social Media is not ALL bad and that my perception is probably somewhat jaded right now in the anti-social, PMT Jetlagged mood that I’m in …

I do know that Social Media does have its place, but do you think I have a point? has any of this rung true for you? let me know – give me a rundown of your own Social Media a-game, tell me your “why “or have you also gagged, bagged and locked it in the boot of your car ?!”

With love and wellness

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7 thoughts on “I’m not anti-social, how about you? ….”

  1. I now have fear of ever saying OMG YUM ever again, HAHAHAAH.

    I am awkward socially in person and only a little less so on social media. The compulsion for me to comment, yep meaninglessly is due to my possible irrational fear of those who comment on my posts thinking I am arrogant for not commenting on their pics, and so the cycle continues in my head.

    I do get comment fatigue, some days I can’t be bothered even giving thanks and acknowledging comments, again, I probably don’t need to, the compulsion to do so overrides.

    I was only thinking today about my beautiful day out on the weekend and I thought, why the fuck (guilty of being a major swear bear) did I have to post about it. Like what is the point? Would my day have been any less amazing if I didn’t.

    I have also considered closing my account but sadly for me because of my extreme real life social awkwardness fears, it is the only way I feel sometimes less loserish.

    Another thought provoking post Sarah x

    Like

  2. You know what Ness l found your comment to be a real positive read! You are finding a way through your social awkwardness! A positive right there for SM!

    It was very interesting to read about the cycle that you feel you’re in and the compulsion, to “have to” comment. I wonder would you do that in real life?

    Anyway, if you find your “why” and on instastories get some pleasure from sharing your days then f@*king go for it. If it’s something you feel “you should” “or obliged to do” or feel “resentful of”… maybe you need to knock that sh*t on the head and enjoy your day mindfully, be present in all that it is. Only you can make that decision gorgeous 😍😘

    Love your comments and continued support. Thank you !

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  3. I’m going to be a weirdo and reply to your comment again Ness (I think I did that on Sarah’s last post too!?), because I loved your honesty! I totally agree that Instagram can be mentally exhausting sometimes and have those same thoughts about whether it’s worth continuing. But I also wanted to say – I loved seeing your day out on the weekend. 🙂 I found that so much more interesting – to follow your journey across the day, including when you missed the stop and ended up at the pub! Than a generic daily post of a chia pudding (wow, I’m really anti chia pudding at the moment…).

    I love your honesty in the post too Sarah, of course. I’m completely guilty of the “OMG Yum” type comments (haha!) – I think I’ve used that in the past as a way of expressing my appreciation of a photo but have been time-poor. But I truly value the more meaningful connections that arise from time to time – the bits that lead to other things, whether it’s considering different ideas, or even just conversations about mutually loved TV shows! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Couldn’t agree more Erin … instastories make it so much easier to connect than a generic chia post 😉🤣😂

      As for the time poor comments, l think we can all own up to those, but why do we feel under pressure to comment, strange huh. Are we being socially polite but only coming across as somewhat impolite 🤣😂 ironic huh …

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sarah I am so glad you got to enjoy your time with your daughter, family, friends without worrying about social media. It irks me when I am out doing this great thing and all I think about is hmm, what picture should I take to post in IG? Grrrr.

    Anyway, I too have been absent from IG, not noticeably absent because I don’t think anyone noticed my absence lol! Guess why? Real life happened! It blew up in fact. Way more happened in July than I anticipated, including a sad event, but a happy one happened too. It seems whenever I start getting into IG or blogging, real life starts getting busy again and I have to set it aside.

    Your question of why has been with me a few weeks now. I am still thinking. I do know that I have benefited from it – like your A-game. Would never have made progress on reducing stress without it. Also made a few friends that share some similar values. One thing I don’t do is check my numbers – I need to worry about me first, and if I can help others along the way I am very happy to. Don’t let it control your self esteem – you are better than that! Lisa

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I did check in from time to time as your a-game posts are f@#king inspiring Lisa!

      I’m so sorry to hear it’s been up and down, back up, down and around ! Life loves chucking us curve balls huh!? I really hope you’re all okay now!

      You’re right let’s focus on what we can change and of sorts control. Sending you heaps of love and looking forward to the blogging and IG again when you’re ready xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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